It's all worth it...

Time went by so fast. Everything seems to be in fast forward mode lately. Seems like time wanted to be chased but it does not want to be caught.  Time's mind only understand its own. As a tribute to the ever parody of time not being able to be brought back... I let it flew away, but I made sure that every nano-second counts.

It has been 4 months since I reunited with this old love - writing.  Having been given a delightful entry which will highlight my present life, I vowed to continue this love affair with writing.  But like everything else, it is so difficult to establish a steady relationship especially when there are so many things that needed immediate attention. But no, it's not going to be short term.  

However, like all start-up relationships, water needs to be tested. The affair was really fascinating in the beginning then the flame simply dies down as days go by. But the fire will keep on burning like an endless night need light.  

This is how I feel. Like when I felt the urge to write and start my advocacy. Simply put, I have no right to stop halfway through the journey.  It is only a beginning.  How do we keep the fire burning is now the "million-dollar question".  The answer would be - keep on loving!

And I would keep on doing just that.  With the rate my little boy is doing at the moment. Time seems to freeze all of a sudden.  The time I heard him utter a word a few weeks back made all these worthwhile.  The research. The sleepless nights. It is now worth it. The emotions could not be translated into words.  Day by day as he explores the world of language, the worries slowly fades. It feels like receiving a wonderful gift - every new learning seemed like a monumental milestone.  

Now, words seem to pour in day in and day out. Maybe not as big and fast as the others but real words nonetheless. 

"How old are you?". "Two". - So simple, so shallow and yet so PRICELESS! "One... two...tee...fo...fa...sic...sev...ey....nay...ten!" Good Lord! Broken words but WORDS from my son's mouth.  "Pol (apple), egg, cake, yo-yo, pik (pink), rey (grey), sta (star)...and it keeps on pouring in."

The day i heard him counting :)

He knows his numbers and can even point at each one even if asked randomly. He loves to read even if all his books are old and tattered. He loves to play the keyboard, dance, hums a tune and mimics his dad. 

Cannot go to bed without reading :)

A gift from Mc.Donald's a year ago...
His mini-me

Really, only time will tell.  As the mystery of my little angel unfolds, I will savor each moment.  I know it's not going to be a smooth ride but I'm sure in the end it's going to be a blast.  I just have to keep the faith and let things be. 

Wipe that smirk off your face! :))

It is truly all worth it...

Communicating through Numbers

My crystal boy did it again...communicate in riddles. Started the other day when we brought up his number mats.  He went to the mats grabbed NUMBER 3, pointed and showed.  So we say...3...3...3.  Afterwhich, he took out NUMBER 4 and brought it to our bed. So I said 4...4...4...

He did it again last night and so my hubby said: "Did you already look up the meaning of numbers 4 and 3?  I haven't had last night so I did now. And here goes...

Three deals with magic..Oh, so we need to look forward to another magical adventure.  And it says it symbolizes reward and success. I can't wait :)

And Four... represents solidity, calmness and home. Maybe this is how Seraphim feels.  Thank God!  But then it also says "a need for persistence and endurance".  So he's saying we need to work more on our plans and be ready for all the things to come.

Thank you Seraphim for your "crystal messages."  I know that you will always prepare us on what to do next.  We just need to have an open heart and mind.  Don't worry baby, we are always willing to listen...

The Lowdown on Seraphim

Ready to Roam

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands - CLAPCLAPCLAP! Oh, it's been a while... I've been so caught up with a lot of things that even if I wanted to update my page I couldn't. It seemed like everything happens in a "fast-forward" mode that I barely noticed my last post. But here it is...Al dente!

What's up on Seraphim? (By the way, his nickname is Jephi).  My adorable toddler is getting more energetic and bubbly by the day.  Imagine all those worries 3 months ago when all I do is gather information on ASD, Primary Stereotypies and all things related to them. Truly, it was emotionally and physically draining. Days were longer and nights seemed endless.

Dad with a golden heart

Seraphim's favorite playmate

I've said it before, I'll say it again, "I am not religious but I am very spiritual".  In this sense, I dropped everything and let Jephi grow to be a beautiful toddler that he is right now.  I am just so blessed with a partner whose heart is made of gold, Joseph. He said: "All we have to do is to help Jephi and provide him with necessary "tools".  We're still so blessed to be given an angel."   And I heed. Sometimes, there are things that shouldn't be questioned.  There are unexplainable eventualities in life that are bound to happen whether we like it or we don't.  The past 3 months have been a test of faith but it was never a question of such.

So without expectations, we let Seraphim be... day by day he blossomed.  Maybe some traits were not of those written in the books.  But definitely, he's MORE THAN what's expected of him. He's more affectionate, happy and a very responsive little person in the house.  He could easily sense when his infectious laughter is needed by anyone in the household.

He's getting bigger by the day

Seraphim would start his day with a smile and ends it with laughter before he retires for bed. The doctor is right. That visit was a "wake up call". A reminder that being given "an angel" is not a no-brainier task.  We should always be on our toes for his divine needs like quality time, loving presence and endless affection.    

He loves to stare at the camera :)

For a child as gifted as Jephi, God expects more from us.  To date, Seraphim plays the keyboard while humming and mimics us when we talk to him.  He loves to plant us wet kisses with smiles that reach his eyes and a hug that feels like he will never let us go.  He claps his hands and dances to entertain us.  He waits for us to cheer him on when he's ready to shoot the ball. Adorable is the word that will always best describe my Seraphim.

How sweet it is to be loved by you?

Advocacy to Help Moms of Children with ASD - Reason Why this Blog is Up...

06.01.2012 -  We headed to The Medical City - Center of Developmental Pediatrics.  Seraphim was almost 18 months then.  We decided to have him checked because we have noticed unusual things that he would do.  He would not look at us in an instant his name is called.  He would ignore us when we were giving him instructions and he cannot utter intelligible words yet at the time.  

According to  http://www.babycenter.com: "a year and a half, most children speak a dozen words (or more) clearly. Besides "Mama" and "Dada," favorite words include "bye-bye," "milk," "cookie," "car," "oh!," and "my."  

     As parents, we are aware that children have different developmental pace.  Still, we were a bit concerned. So we followed our instinct and have him assessed for our peace of mind.  Going to the center, Seraphim was his usual playful self. Playing in the car to pass the time. Trying to grab the steering wheel from his dad when he got bored and reading/browsing thru his books to entertain himself.  

     When we arrived at the CDP, we waited for a while because we came in a bit early.  Jephi was playing and conquering the center.  He was so comfortable going around.   He was babbling non-stop, squeeling and laughing while running around. While he was at it, we were given "long questionnaires" as part of the Developmental Assessment. My husband and I tried to answer them to the best we could remember about our child.

    After a while, Pedia came out and we were ushered inside a private room where the actual assessment was taken.  Jephi followed us like a "young man" would.  And even closed the door behind us. Made the doctor smile :)

    The questionnaires were discussed while Jephi was playing with some of the toys the doctor put on the table.  She asked the questions again verbally. Reiterated and confirm some answers.  Then explained to us that she needs to discuss and measure the answers with a Developmental Pedia.  We were asked to come back for the results after a week. We were nonchalant for a week. 

06.08.2012 - We went back, this time without Seraphim.  Just like the last time, we were ushered at the same room.  This time, Pedia had enough introductions before she started discussing the results.  I sensed something is not right already. It was a long explanation but what gotten most of my attention was when she said: "he failed all parts of assessment - PEDS, M-CHAT, etc.etc."   
     How could that be? My mind said. But I just kept my cool and listened intently - because we were talking about my son here. She mentioned about his failure in these areas could be "red flags" to ASD - Autism Spectrum Disorder.   The Pedia said that "this is just an assessment and is not absolute until after so many tests.  Children develop differently and maybe we need some modifications in the way we are raising Jephi.  Also, he is too young and it takes  a long process and series of screenings before any doctor could say that he is one."  
     That day, we just took things in stride.  As an informed and exposed couple, we know that there were a lot of things to consider.  The assessment is an eye-opener, as the doctor said.  We could only agree.  
a. It could be too much TV(we exposed him to TV as early as 9 months);
b. It could be because he had seldom interact with other children (He was inside the house most of the time. The only people he was exposed to most often are us, my parents and his nanny for almost 18-months);
c. It could be Information Overload (because we downloaded nursery videos and made him watch all the time, almost all his toys are educational and we talk to him in bilingual manner.)

     We are guilty! As hands-on parents as we are, the best that we thought we know of, did not come out as the best for our son's development.  We were overprotective and over-indulged, and we have to face the consequence.  He was referred to a Developmental Pediatrician for another screening after 2 months.  Before then, we were advised to have a hearing test (Otoacoustic Emission Test) first to rule out the possibility of hearing loss or hearing disorder. We were also asked to attend Language and Behavior Classes to be able to help him improve on his speech.  
     First things first, we need to deal with people he interacts most of the time - us, my parents, his nanny.  My husband and I agreed that we will inform them that he has delay in speech and he needs help to improve on that area but we will not discuss about the details of the results.  We do not want labels to be thrown at Jephi especially because it was not even certain.  Like all parents, we aim to help and protect our son to the best of our ability. It's not that they will not understand, but in a hometown like ours, a label is a label.  We wouldn't want our son to be treated any other way.

06.09.12 - Seraphim's caregiving modifications started.  First NO TV day. I don't know if it was difficult for Jephi but it surely was for the nanny, whose only form of diversion to avoid getting tired while taking care of my boy is to peek into TV once in a while.  It was also the day when he went out and play.  Day passed and he survived with flying colors. No retaliation. Slept well because he did not see animated objects on TV.  He was totally spent due to playing.  He was  parallel playing at first.  Not minding other kids.  Just going around and exploring his "new environment".  
     When he started on what we so-called "therapy", my evenings would be about research on ASD - signs, symptoms and how a child would be ASD.  I read about ASD endlessly.  Nights went by so fast and somehow take its toll on my health - physically and psychologically. I became addicted to know how to go about helping my son improve his speech and at the same time study the symptoms if those were really manifesting on my son.  Interests became obsession, and obsession became paranoia.  Until I find myself getting tired of the subject already.

"I must admit, there's a part of me that would always say that he does not have ASD.  Sure he isn't.  How could it be when he is so cuddly, warm and affectionate to us. He loves to be played with, embraced, kissed and read to?"

     The first five days was a killer. By reading non-stop day and night, I've learned tons of things about ASD. I went from so interested, to cold feet, to "I-want-to-try-a-different-approach", to "I am getting exhausted with all these information!"  It was a roller-coaster of emotions. He is not there yet, I know.  It's just that my maternal heart just couldn't resist to find advance ways  and answers to my becoming endless questions.   


In search for answers during the first few days, I stumble upon these links:
1. Autism Symptoms and Early Signs

Early signs of autism in babies and toddlers

• Doesn’t make eye contact (e.g. look at you when being fed).
• Doesn't smile when smiled at.
• Doesn't respond to his or her name or to the sound of a familiar voice.
• Doesn’t follow objects visually.
• Doesn't point or wave goodbye or use other gestures to communicate.
• Doesn’t follow the gesture when you point things out.

• Doesn’t make noises to get your attention.
• Doesn’t initiate or respond to cuddling.
• Doesn’t imitate your movements and facial expressions.
• Doesn’t reach out to be picked up.
• Doesn’t play with other people or share interest and enjoyment.
• Doesn’t ask for help or make other basic requests.

  

Common self-stimulatory behaviors

Hand flapping Rocking back and forth Spinning in a circle Finger flicking Head banging Staring at lights Moving fingers in front of the eyes Snapping fingers

Tapping ears Scratching Lining up toys Spinning objects Wheel spinning Watching moving objects Flicking light switches on and off Repeating words or noises

The items highlighted in yellow are the only things that my boy do.  So how could I believe that he has ASD?  My heart was really shouting - I hope not!  

But since I really like to find out ways on how I should deal with my son's speech delay, I arrived on the next link. 


2.  ABA Autism Training - Chapter 1
There are so many links available as soon as you visit this link.  It comes in many chapters. 

  

3. Hand Flapping, Tip-Toe Walking....Stimming?

Let me tell you, these videos made me more paranoid.  Though I know that I have to face my fear head on!

4. Understanding Hand Flapping...
This link is surely an eye-opener.  Reading thru all the comments in this link, I've understand 

a lot from parents of ASDs to ASDs themselves.  It somehow made me feel relaxed a bit knowing that there are so many hand-flappers out there living "normal lives".

This site also brought me to this site: Primary (Non-Autistic) Motor Stereotypies.  It gave me another insight about my son's condition which lead me to write: Understanding Primary Motor Stereotypies

5. Crystal Children - this is a spiritual link.  Do not read, lest you are ready to believe...
This, I should say, is my favorite and I would say describe my Seraphim more accurately as of the moment.  This deserves another page...a totally new story soon to be written.

     Congratulations! When you arrive on this page that means you are one with me in my advocacy.  Now you know the reason why I am here.  I have been prodded to continue my research to an advocacy.  An advocacy to help confused moms.  An advocacy to help moms who are afraid or embarrassed to ask questions about their little ones.  It's been only almost 2 months for me, but it seems like I am meant to do this forever. 

     I do not mean to come out as preachy or as "know-it-all".  As I have said, all I do is search, research and ask questions.  I know there are a lot of parents who could help me out here.  I am done being paranoid or afraid anymore.  All I know is that I would do anything for my son.  In turn, I would make myself a bridge to help others... moms, parents, siblings and friends.

     Ask and you shall receive... I am not good in memorizing bible verses.  I am more spiritual than religious. But this verse would always be detrimental in my entire existence. 

     Feel free to ask me any questions about ASD.  I am willing to help.  I neither have the medical solutions nor the absolute answers but we could help each other to look for one.  It's easier to make things done when people with like-minds unite :)

P.S.

After 1 month and 22 days of NO TV and continuous interaction with other kids, Seraphim regained all his antics.  He's more social even with kids.  Points at things more.  More affectionate and grumpy (hahaha).  His speech increases by the day.  He went back where he left off - 9th month. Maybe he's on his 10th month now in terms of speech...who knows.  Most importantly, he understands us and follows our requests and reacts to us more appropriately. He's connected!

Seraphim conception...or inception?

     As promised, I am going to write a backtrack of how Seraphim came into existence.  You see, as they said, nothing happened by accident.  So just like any other woman, I prayed to be blessed with a child.  I was one of the "not-so-easy" to conceive thou.  Fact is to bear a child was, in a way, one of the greatest divine interventions in my life.

     I got married in Civil Rites in 2006. Independent as we are, my husband and I agreed to enjoy each other’s company first, save for the future then work on having a baby.  We tried to have our own formula on having a family. Since we got married at a very ripe age, we make efforts to plan everything before we dive into anything. Let's admit it, having a baby is the greatest responsibility given to a couple. We'd love to have one but at that time we're not ready yet. We've seen enough irresponsible parents in our lifetime and we try our best not to be like them.  Also, I had a pact with God that I'd like to have a child after I got married in Church. 

Photo owned by superstock.com

     In 2008, we finally saved up for our Church Wedding, paid our house debts, loans, etc.  We had our house blessing a little more than a month after our Church Wedding.  Following our life plan, we even resigned months before our Church Wedding (a story needed to be told another day).

Photo owned by 123rf.com

     However, as much as we wanted everything to work accordingly, things don't always go as planned.  This is real life. There were detours, reroutes and even dead-ends. After 2 years of being married in Church and 4 years in Civil, we weren't given a baby yet. That was the time that we were a little alarmed already.

Photo owned by newwaychurch.net

We already dropped all methods avoiding pregnancy.  (We've been controlling for  years since we lived together) We had frequent out-of-town vacations. More quality time. But to no avail.  Reason being, I found out that I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovaries Syndrome) in both ovaries already. My myoma became four (4) from the usual three (3) for a couple of years, giving me a slimmer chance of conceiving. Still faithful and hopeful, I believe in my heart that I am to become a mother.

During those trying moments, I almost gave up several times but my soul does not want to stop believing. For the ultimatum, my husband and I had a month long vacation in February 2010, which made us lose a huge amount of money.  It was our “make or break” leap of faith. We hibernated, counted menstrual cycles, made “acrobatic” efforts and waited. We even went to Padre Pio, now St.Pio of Pietrelcina in Libis, Quezon City, Philippines.  Maybe a goad or a guide, my mom’s youngest sister mentioned the chapel out of nowhere.  We did the best way we could to show God how sincere we were when we prayed for an “angel”.  The voice inside me would always say, "just believe and have faith".

Photo owned by ManilaReviews.com

           A month after we “totally” dropped everything (February 2010) and two weeks after we have heard The Mass at St. Pio’s Church, I was “positive” and on the way J

http://momofseraphim.blogspot.com/2010/03/its-positive.html

Divine Intervention is how we call it, that’s the coming of Seraphim into our lives.

         There will be a few more backtracks before we get down to the real reason why this blog is up and about. Till next! J

The Sweetest Thing on Friday the 13th

Friday the 13th - a lot would say, beware! Some would say don't go out and be safe. I'd say today could be the sweetest...the sweetest day of all.

It's been a while that I've been wanting to hear my little one speak, and I mean speak not babble.  (Sorry, haven't given backtrack stories yet, soon, I promise). Today was exceptional.  He said the sweetest thing any mom would love to hear - "ababu" (translate: I Love You!). My heart jumped up and down. I laughed like I've heard the best joke of the day.  It was like someone is tickling me but there's no one. Yes, my Seraphim repeated what I've said with a bonus kiss on top of that.  How about a "sundae with cherry on top" on a beautiful Friday morning? Sweet, isn't it?

Such a shame that I had to leave for a meeting after that "sundae treat"! But it's okay. I could look forward to another "ababu" with kisses on top over and over again.

That said, goes to show that Friday the 13th is a lucky day after all :)  

For the love of Seraphim

It's nearly dawn and I'm still up learning the ropes of this new found love...blogging.  After searching, researching, reading and visiting sites, I'd say, there are so much more to know.  It's just my 7th day anyways, so I guess that's okay.

Let me go back to the reason why I'm here, for the love of Seraphim.  Due to circumstances that he puts us through, I am compelled to do this. He gave me the need to write and share and somehow made an advocacy out of it.  He is a real angel. He made me do things that I do not know the reason yet but unveils itself day-by-day.  He is completing my existence in an abstract sort of way.  I love riddles but he made me love them more.

In the following days I will give you a backtrack of how I arrived here. I will walk you thru the path that I have trudged to make you understand what I am saying all the more.  I will introduce to you my angel Seraphim.  I promise that you will fall in love with him.

Understanding Primary Motor Stereotypies

Did you know that...

I'm a mother of a 20-month old who hand-flaps and grits his teeth when he's too excited.  It became most noticeable when he turned 18 months. For peace of mind, I had him assessed at 19 months (last month), but mostly for speech delay. We thought it was just that.  But the moment of truth came when my son failed all parts of the assessment. (PEDS, MCHAT, etc)

This had me looking into ASD, which I haven't entertained before. Dev't Pedia said he got a lot of Red Flags. It was a roller-coaster of emotion. I started my research on ASD since then (a month ago). But first & foremost, the changes that we had to do to see if his speech will improve.

Doctor's top of list:
1. NO TV! It sure helped a lot. Saw quick improvement in days.
2. Let him mingle with other children.  Since he's our first born, we were so overprotective and we didn't even notice that my son has no playmate for 1 1/2 years. Just us,all adults.

After a month of following the NO TV route and letting him play with other children, his speech greatly improved. As well as his social skills. He plays and reacts with other kids already unlike the past months which he was more responsive with adults. He's role-playing and following instructions already.
Note: he's a happy, warm and cuddly baby boy. He's got the most infectious smile and eyes that could penetrate your soul. Thus, I'd really like to rule out ASD.

However, with all the improvement, hand-flapping and teeth-gritting are still there when he gets overly excited. In my research for answers, this site: http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/neurology_neurosurgery/specialty_areas/pediatric-neurology/conditions/motor-stereotypies/symptoms.html crossed my path.  Reading it helped me a lot to understand the repetitive movements that he's doing. I am also thankful to this site: http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/hand-flapping.html, because someone mentioned primary motor stereotypies.

He shows signs of improvement day by day.  Of course, we gave him attention twice as much. We're more sensitive now on how we react to him.  I don't have concrete answers for now. I just hope that he outgrows these involuntary movements in time or at least when he could express himself thru words already. My heart will always be hopeful and faithful...

Back to blog...back to share...

Free Template c/o www.blogger.com

It's been 2 years and 2 months since I decided to try my luck in blog. As "techie" is not my last name, I keep on thinking why does this keep on crossing my path? Yes, I write for a living. Copy, scripts, features, magazines, flyer, etc. But blogging? With all the commands and programs that I need to learn...Ugh! Good thing, there's a free blog site with ready layout, templates and designs (thanks to http://www.blogger.com) Years went by, months and days, and still opportunity will present itself a reason why I should share my thoughts, my learnings, my journey. I know there are thousands, maybe millions of bloggers since this term has been coined and was given life on the net. I am not even aware about the sophistication or eloquence in delivering timely blogs. But the only thing I know is that I have a gift of communication. It has been given to me for a reason and I owe my maker to give back. I am not sure who will reach my messages, my stories, my tribulations. But "the voice" inside my heart would say: "just be an open channel". I am back to share my journey. Maybe I have similar stories as yours or maybe I would play a part in your day-to-day struggle. At this point, I have no idea. But I will keep on writing from hereon. I will let the river run its course...

Seraphim Favorite Numbers as of 06.13.12

He would pick these numbers up  everytime from his rubber mats bring them up in the air and leave it separately to be noticed.   He would open the page of his Number Book on Number 5.  And his favorite shape in the cookie jar, STAR, has number 5 on it...

So I decided to look up for the meaning. AND HE MADE HIMSELF KNOWN ON DAY 5 OF OUR JOURNEY.


Five: The spiritual meaning of number Five deals with travel, adventure, and motion. With the highs that come with these attributes, Fives also carry instability and unpredictability, and radical changes. The spiritual meaning of Five draws our attention to the wonder of life, and beckons us to appreciate the perception of chaos all around us. Five has wild vibrations: primitive and erratic. When Five continues to pop up in your life be prepared for some action, like a trip. Remember, trips aren't all necessarily taken physically. Some of the best journey's are taken in the mind and spirit.

Then followed by this:

Two: The symbolic meaning of number Two is kindness, balance, tact, equalization, and duality. The number Two reflects a quiet power of judgment, and the need for planning. Two beckons us to choose. The spiritual meaning of number Two also deals with exchanges made with others, partnerships (both in harmony and rivalry), and communication. Two urges us out of our indecision, calls us to unite with like-minds, and like-ideals. Two asks us to exert our natural flow of judgment to do what is best for our souls.

Is he communicating to us thru his mind? YES HE DOES! :)